Well I'ma tell you all about my mother-in-law
And I got one of them mother-in-laws
I hope your mother-in-law is alright

My mother-in-law is the ugliest woman I ever seen
That woman so skinny she can hide behind a broom
She's some skinny
Her teeths hang down all over her lips

Her mouth is so doggone pointy
She could eat a apple thru a picket fence
Got a mouth like a chicken
That's some ugly woman

Her legs is so skinny
She gotta tie knots on her legs to make knees
Boy that's some skinny woman
Everytime she pass the junkyard
Her skin'll rattle(?), rattles for them bones

She's some ugly woman boy, you should see her

She got jealous eyes, you know what jealous eyes is
Both of her black eyes is in the corner
Lookin' at one 'nother, that's what you call jealous eyes
That's some ugly woman

And my wife look just like her
That sure is her daughter

My wife got long curly black hair
Hanging all the way down her back
But I wish she had some of that hair on her head
She got too much of it hanging down her back

You know the boys used to ax me why you take your wife with you
Every morning when you go to work
I say that's a long story
I say the woman's so doggone ugly I don't wanna kiss her goodbye
So I carry her along with me
Some ugly woman

But that's alright boy, she's alright with me

And my mother in law calls me son
I wish that I could say on the record the rest of it
But you know she just calls me son
That's what I called the mother-in-law blues